Missing the a

In this world there are a few times in life when instead of looking forward, you find yourself looking back.  When you look back, and then forward again, what you see is framed by either a would-a, could-a, or a should-a.  Are our memories better or worse for the –a?

Most people upon looking back remember things much more fondly and with a rosier glow than when the events actually happened.  A lot of the time it’s a memory of how we saw it in our mind’s eye, not how it actually was.  That moment when you should have said something, he could have reached out, you would have done something different.  Replayed years later, the past is changed by tricks of the mind.  Sometimes it is changed for the better, sometimes for the worse.

Nothing stays the same, and if you could put yourself back into the alternate ending, you might be surprised at who you are today.  To quote, “we are the sum of our experiences” and “life is what you make it”.  Look in that mirror.  You are fabulous.  The person you see looking back at you is only that way because of the decisions made in the past.

So what if not all those decisions were made by you.  Big deal that you turned right when you should have turned left, or just left all together.  We are made whole by our experiences, good or bad.

You think the breakup and walking away was hard then?  Look how doing that made you resilient.  Think you should have taken that blank check and how it could have changed your life then?  The sound morals you teach your child today come from that.  Would have come out of the closet when you were ready instead of being outed?  Your strength and pride you wear daily come from enduring that.

Once in a while we get the opportunity to ponder the what-ifs.  While it’s nice to go back and visit, but there is no place like home.


About Lori

Life's about being social! Live in the SF Bay Area.
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